Past Winners

Last night I dreamt I had an identical twin.

This morning when I woke up I was beside myself!

A Navy officer was cutting through the crew's quarters of his ship one day and happened upon a sailor reading a magazine with his feet up on the small table in front of him.

"Sailor! Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" the officer demanded.

"No, sir, but we don't land airplanes on the roof either."

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

Iron Man is a superhero.

Iron Woman is a command.

My son couldn't sleep. So I told him there are cows sleeping in the field outside.

He said: “What’s that go to do with anything?”

I replied: “Because it's pasture bedtime.”