Past Winners

Harold and Jack are about to rob a bank. Harold says, "All right, Jack, now here's what to do: go into that bank with this gun and this bag, hold the gun on the teller and tell her to put all of the money in the bag, then run back out before the cops show up. Meanwhile, I'll be out here in the car, taking all the chances."

Jack says, "Now wait just a minute, Harold, If I'm the one running in there with the gun and the bag, getting the money and running back out before the cops show up, how are you the one taking all the chances?"

Harold replies, "Because I can't drive."

Why can't Klingon kids play in sandboxes?

Cats keep trying to cover them up.

"Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…"

"Sir, I’m sorry, this is a brewery!"

"Oh, I know…"

Got home from work today to find my kids have been on ebay all day.

If they are still there tomorrow I will lower the price.