Past Winners

Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you sure you’re prepared for it?”

“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”

“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”

“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."

I'm terrified of elevators...

I'm taking steps to avoid them.

Saw a lad standing on one leg at an ATM.

Confused, I asked him what he was doing?

He was just checking his balance.

Dave irritated everyone in our office. Whether it was the tone of his voice or his condescending attitude, we all steered clear.

He must have suspected he was annoying because he asked a co-worker, "Why does everybody take an instant dislike to me?"

Larry responded, "It saves time."