Past Winners

The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself.

"What's the matter?" snorted the horse. "Are you astonished that I can talk?"

"Not at all," said the man. "I'm surprised that you think you can win."

Some people say that I'm superficial...

But that's just on the surface.

Three ants find an elephant asleep.

First ant says, "Let's get him!"

Second one says, "Let's beat him up!"

Finally the third ant says, "Leave him alone... it's not fair. Poor guy is all alone and we are three!"

My friend was telling me the other day that his wife's intuition is so highly developed that she knows he's wrong before he says anything.