Past Winners

An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady.

He asked a nearby trainer, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby.

A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga to ease her nervousness. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

One day her friend stopped her and -- noticing her well long, groomed nails -- asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness.

"No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

John: Do you know how many children a family would have if the husband had to share in the labor and delivery?

Fred: No I have no idea.

John: They would only have three. The woman would have the first one, the husband the second and the wife would have the third. There would be no more because the husband has no intention of going through it again.

What did the dinosaur eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?

The dentist!