Past Winners

I placed an order for fries at my local fast food establishment.

Then, before completing the order, the counter person asked, "Would you like fries with that order?"

How does a dog stop a TV show?

He presses PAWS.

Today's session of The CONGRESS OF HYPOCHONDRIA has been cancelled...

Due to illness.

A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day.

"Doc, there's something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby's high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe. Can you tell me what the problem is?"

"Sure," the doctor said. "You have way too much time on your hands."