I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...
She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.
Wife: "I lost my keys again."
Husband: "It's in your jeans."
Wife: "Don't drag my family into this!"
Teacher: "Where is your home work?"
Student: "Please visit my home page or follow me in instagram."
How do you feel if you see a sheepdog with a melon?
"Melon-collie."