I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...
I don’t know 'y'.
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?
Make it with blue cheese!
WIFE: "You look tired, honey. How about a nice steak, mashed potatoes and an apple pie for dessert?"
HUSBAND: "No thanks. I'm too tired. Lets just eat at home."
Judge: "Why did you steal from the same shop twice?"
Thief: "Because the shop had a board that said, 'Thank you, come again!'"