What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
"Aye, Matey!"
It was so quiet in the bowling alley...
It was so quiet that you COULD hear a pin drop...
Dietitian: Did you follow the course that I have given you 4 weeks ago?
Client: Yes, of course!
Dietitian: So did you lose at least 4lbs ?
Client: No! I lost 4 weeks!
What was the dog doing on the turnpike?
About seven miles an hour.