Past Winners

I went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of Computer Hacking Investigator.

The boss asked me, "So, what makes you suitable for this job?"

"Well," I replied, "I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!"

What kind of phone does an optometrist have?

An “Eye Phone”!

My friend: "I work at Google!"

Me: "That's great, I google at work."

Me: Doctor, Doctor my sister thinks she is a lift!

Doctor: Well tell her to come in.

Me: I cant! She doesn't stop at this floor.