Past Winners

Woman customer in restaurant: "I'd like a margarita please."

Waiter: "I'll need to see your ID."

Customer (giggling while showing her ID): "You think I look like a teenager?"

Waiter: "No. I thought you qualified for our senior citizen discount."

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I would have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

Men are like coolers...

Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere.