Past Winners

I buy all my guns from a guy called “T-Rex”...

He’s a small arms dealer.

Why did little Johnny put his teddy in the freezer?

He wanted a Polar Bear.

A friend of mine was having a bit of marital-tension in his household and was trying to figure out just what to do about it.

In the course of our conversation, I said to him, "You know, quite often God speaks to us through our wives."

My friend looked at me and said, "Oh yeah? Well I'm pretty sure God doesn't use that kind of language!"

My dad's last words before he kicked the bucket was...

"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"