Past Winners

A married couple are arguing back and forth about the husband's time on Facebook and Twitter.

The wife threatens, "If you continue to spend more time on Twitter and Facebook, then I will spend more time on Amazon and EBay!"

The husband goes offline immediately.

What is an alien's favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!

One day at a local café, a woman suddenly called out, "My daughter’s choking! She swallowed a nickel! Please, anyone, help!"

Immediately a man at a nearby table rushed up to her and said he was experienced in these situations. He calmly stepped over to the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. Out popped the nickel.

The man returned to his table as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you!" the mother cried. "Tell me, are you a doctor?"

"No," the man replied. "I work for the IRS."

Father: "Take a look at and learn something from your classmate Lucy. She got an A on the last exam."

Son: "Actually Dad, that's the reason I failed... I WAS looking at her."