Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!!
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing... "You can have mine!"
I work at a garden center and was tickled to overhear one customer saying to another, “I never knew what compost was until I met husband.”
On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.
“Kids,” he said, “if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me.”
Our six-year-old shot back, “Too late dad, I already got you another present.”