Past Winners

Did you hear that they moved all the prisoners from Alcatraz island over to the Greek island of Crete?

They also changed the name to Con-Crete!

Patient: "It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable."

Doctor: "Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?"

Patient: "I sure did. The bottle said 'keep tightly closed'."

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took my daughter to her grave site, which was located beside a row of pine trees.

“How nice,” I said. “Grandma has a great spot here in the shade.”

My daughter replied, “Mom, aren't they all in the shade?”

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.

As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."

He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"