Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal, and a chorus member substituted for him.
As we began rehearsing Pilate’s solo, the conductor stopped the orchestra. “Pilate, I don’t hear you,” he called out. “You’re not loud enough.”
“Pilate is at work,” a voice on the stage shouted back. “We’ve got our co-Pilate tonight.”
My next door neighbor is originally from Canada. This past February we had what we call here in Oklahoma a blizzard.
I was discussing the 'blizzard' with my neighbor and ask how this compared to Canada.
His reply, "We call this July."
Husband: Today is our wedding anniversary, where do you want me to take you?
Wife: Take me some place I have never seen before!
Husband: Then I shall take you to the kitchen!
A customer walked into our store looking for Christmas lights. I showed her our top brand, but—wanting to make sure each bulb worked—she asked me to take them out of the box and plug them in. I did, and each one lit up.
“Great,” she said. I carefully placed the string of lights back in the box. But as I handed them to her, she looked alarmed.
“I don’t want this box,” she said abruptly. “It’s been opened.”