food jokes

What do you put into soup to make gold?

24 carrots.

When it comes to candy bars, the term fun-sized is misleading.

There is nothing fun about your candy bar being the size of a regular bar.

You should call them what they are... “disappointment-sized.”

Why are bananas bad getaway drivers?

They are in such a hurry to split and they peel out.

You Know You Had Too Much Coffee When
• Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
• You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
• You sleep with your eyes open
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward
• You lick your coffee pot clean
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
• You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
• You can jump-start your car without cables
• Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
• You don't sweat, you percolate