misc jokes

Man in a bar tells his friend he does not believe in coincidences.

His friend said, “OMG, neither do I!”

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"My other car is a broomstick."

A woman was chatting with her next-door neighbor. "I feel really good today. I started out this morning with an act of unselfish generosity. I gave a twenty dollar bill to someone who was needy and down on his luck."

"Twenty whole dollars? That's a lot of money to just give away. What did your husband say about it?"

"Oh, he thought it was the proper thing to do. He said, 'Thanks.'"

I just love it when you are at a play or movie theater and they make the announcement, "Please silence your cell phones..."

Why do they have to announce that?

I mean how many people are carrying around a landline phone?