misc jokes

Mr. Jones was sleeping soundly and was awakened by the phone ringing at 2am. He answered and the voice on the other end said, "This is your neighbor, Mr. Smith. Your dog's barking is keeping me awake, keep it quiet!"

Then he hung up. At 3 o'clock, Mr. Jones called back Mr. Smith and said, "I don't have a dog." and he hung up.

Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?

Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.

Judge: Can't they do without you at work?

Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

At three o'clock one morning, a veterinary surgeon was awoken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line.

"That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."