misc jokes

Outside a second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - Bicycles, Washing Machines, etc... Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain!

Four young ladies are ordering a few rounds of drinks. Each time they get up, they toast and say, "14 weeks!", then they down their drinks.

The bartender finally asks the ladies, "What's the deal?"

One says, "Well, we bought a boxed puzzle. It said 'two to six years,' and we did it in 14 weeks!"

A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in summer camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella.

The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"

The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?

They had been up in the attic together doing some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked, "Hey Mom, what's this?"

"Oh, that's an old typewriter," she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity.

"Well what does it do?" they asked.

"I'll show you," she said and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page.

"WOW!" they exclaimed, "That's really cool.! But how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?"

"There is no plug," she answered. "It doesn't need a plug."

"Then where do you put the batteries?" they persisted.

"It doesn't need batteries either." she continued.

"Wow! This is so cool!" they exclaimed. "Someone should have invented this a long time ago!"