misc jokes

Mr. Bolton was proud of his lawn and gardens, but the sidewalk bothered him. Some of the tiles were stained, some showed different levels of wear and some just looked old. He had a brilliant idea, "Why not paint the sidewalk?"

So he went to the local hardware store and found a cement paint that was labelled light grey. He rushed home, got out a paint roller, and in a short time he had the walk completely painted. When it dried, it was beautiful and bright and looked brand new.

He deemed the project a success, but it does have one draw back. Visitors and the mail man now walk on his lawn so as not to stain the sidewalk.

You know its going to be a bad day if:

You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.

Your car horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck while you’re following a group of Hell’s angels.

You see a ’60 minutes’ team waiting in your office

The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.

The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.

Your blind date turns out to be your wife.

Your twin forgot your birthday.

Your Income Tax check bounces.