misc jokes
Favorite this joke Jim was annoyed when his wife told him that a car had backed into her, damaging a fender, and that she hadn't gotten the license number. "What kind of car was he driving?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said. "I never can tell one car from another."
At that, Jim decided the time had come for a learning course, and for the next few days, whenever they were driving, he made her name each car they passed until he was satisfied that she could recognize every make.
It worked. About a week later she came in the house with a pleased expression on her face. "Darling," she said. "I hit a Buick!"
Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine continental car. She took an old friend for a spin, but after only half a mile, the car broke down.
Both women got out and opened up the front of the car. "Oh, Gladys," said her friend, "you've lost your engine!"
"Never mind, dear," said auntie. "I've got a spare one in the trunk."
I went on a job interview the other day. I wasn't really qualified but I decided to apply anyway. A week later, I became very excited when I was called in for an interview.
At the interview, the prospective employer asked a few questions then read through my resume. After a few anxious moments, as I sat in silence waiting for him to finish reading, he put down my resume. He looked up at me and said, "We have an opening for someone like you."
"Really?" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"
"It's called the door."
This old woman would never drink beer.The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door.
"What do you want, Sonny?" she demanded.
"D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked.
"Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady.
"S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"
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