misc jokes

What did the number Zero say to the number Eight?

NICE BELT!

There are two girls in a car driving down a steep hill. All of a sudden the driver realizes that the brakes are not working.

She tells the passenger that the brakes don't work and they will soon drive off the side of the cliff, as she can't stop at all.

The passenger then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."

Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on.

I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job, but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get to the Darkside...