misc jokes

I was standing in line in a bank one day when a teenager called out in a loud voice, "Did anyone lose a big wad of bills with a rubber band around it?"

Two men and a woman quickly called out, "I did!"

The teenager responded saying, "Well I found the rubber band!"

A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide replied, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."

Jane laughs at a joke once when you tell it.

Fred laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once with you explain it to him.

Susie laughs at a joke three times. Once when you tell it, once when you explain it to her, and once when she understands it.

Mark laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once when you explain it to him. He never understands it.

Will laughs at a joke once when you tell it. There's no use trying to explain it to him.