misc jokes

My next door neighbor is originally from Canada. This past February we had what we call here in Oklahoma a blizzard.

I was discussing the 'blizzard' with my neighbor and ask how this compared to Canada.

His reply, "We call this July."

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.

“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”

“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had discovered what “runner’s euphoria” was.

“Runner’s euphoria,” he explained, “is what I feel at 5:30 am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays.”

The Doctor, after examining the lady who had been brought into the EMERGENCY ROOM, said to the husband: "I'm afraid your wife is not looking well."

The husband replied, "I agree with you Doc, but she is a good cook and is great with the kids."