misc jokes

Lisa was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car's engine suddenly turned off.

It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her was starting to pile up. The guy in the car directly behind her was honking his horn continuously as Lisa tried to get the car to start up again.

Finally she gets out and approaches the guy behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Lisa said, smiling. "Would you be so kind and try if you can get it fixed for me? I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."

Please, always be alert and watch out for the people around you.

Yesterday, when I was on a sidewalk making my way home, a man came to me and drew scissors.

I was panicked so I immediately responded with a rock.

Imagine if I was not alert, I might have accidentally answered with paper and lost the game.

What is Experience?

The name people give to their mistakes.

Last night, I spent 5,000 bucks on a reincarnation seminar...

I figured, "What the heck, you only live once!"