misc jokes

This year I made my New Year's Resolution...

To finish everything I sta...

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The reply from the railroad engineer.

"How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?"

A mime was arrested and put into an invisible cell at the police station.

They figured if he can't get out of an invisible box on a stage, an invisible prison cell would be twice as difficult.

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car just six months earlier.

"Listen", the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought this battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"

"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."