misc jokes

What would you call something that cleans vacuums?

"Vacuum Cleaner" is already taken.

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle maker died?

He was buried 6 down and 3 across.

A woman offers a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.

A man answers the ad, but he's slightly disbelieving. "What's the catch?" he inquires.

"No catch," the woman answers. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."

Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson asked the driver, "Say, is this really a healthful place?"

"It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said the tourist, "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."