When a customer left his cell phone in my store, I scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Mom" and pushed send. His mother answered, and I told her what happened.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it."
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Mom."
"Martin," she said, "you left your cell phone at the convenience store."
Always be yourself...
Unless you can be a pirate...
in which case, DEFINITELY be a pirate!
Things that always tell the truth:
Small Children...
Drunks...
Yoga Pants!
I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation system said:
"IN 400 FEET, DO A SLIGHT RIGHT, STOP, AND LET ME OUT."