misc jokes
Favorite this joke John: How's your new alarm clock working out?
Fred: It didn't work out at all. It gave me so much trouble I returned it to the store.
John: Really! What was wrong with it?
Fred: It kept waking me up every morning.
Handy Guide For Using A Dictionary
1. For your convenience, all words have been placed in alphabetical order. So merely open book to page where the word you wish to look up should be.
2. If you don't know how to spell the word you wish to look up, look up a synonym and hope the definition contains the word you wish to look up.
3. If you don't know what a synonym is, look up the word "synonym," since we just showed you how to spell that one.
4. Now, repeat Step 2 before repeating Step 1.
5. If the word you originally wished to look up is found to mean something entirely different than you thought it did, then your problem is insuperable.
6. Look up "insuperable."
Fred: "Do you think I have any brains at all?"
John: "Well, how can I put this nicely, I can describe it best like this... If they were to take your brain, roll it into a little ball and roll it down the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane freeway."
Christopher Columbus had Attention-Deficient Disorder. Think about it...
When he left he didn't know where he was going.
When he got there he didn't know where he was.
When he got back he didn't know where he'd been.
Free Daily Joke