misc jokes
Favorite this joke Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?
Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims to the whole table, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know, why don't you play your age?"
He walks away, but moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 36, and when 47 came up she just fainted!"
The city has closed a road to repair a collapsed sewer-pipe. The actual road closure is not apparent until you go around a bend.
So a lot of drivers go to see if the road is really closed and then have to turn in the narrow road. Their embarrassment is made worse by the back of the "ROAD CLOSED" sign.
The back of the sign reads: "TOLD YOU SO!"
John and Fred were arguing over something Fred had done.
John finally said, "If you do it again, I'll slap you upside of the head so hard it'll make your teeth rattle!"
Fred replied, "You do and it'll be the last time you do!"
John responded, "If I do, it'll be the last time I have to!"
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