misc jokes

There was an Antartian sitting on the living room floor painting with four coats on. When her husband got home he asked, "Honey, why are you wearing four coats and painting?" The Antartian replied, "The paint can says the color is better with 3 or 4 coats."

There was an Antartian sitting on the living room floor painting with four coats on. When her husband got home he asked, "Honey, why are you wearing four coats and painting?" The Antartian replied, "The paint can says the color is better with 3 or 4 coats."

Warning Signs of Insanity for Programmers. 
1. You stay up all night coding only to realize that you haven't had any caffeine in about 6 hours. 
2. You wonder why on earth anyone would make a programming language conform to such absolutely bizarre rules of grammar but in a strange way it actually begins to make sense. 
3. You start dreaming in recursion (if you have any time to dream). 
4. You realize not only is it daytime but your project is due in 2 hours, which isn't enough time to even begin running it. 
5. You start customizing your environment because you want it "just right" (and because further work on the program is futile). 
6. You wonder when the invasion will begin. 
7. You understand #8. 
8. You start signing your name in octal (or binary) just because. 
9. You know more programming commands than actual words. 
10. You realize that you have reached the end, and there is no closing command. 

President Clinton decided to buy a puppy as a present for Hillary. He snuck the puppy under his coat into the White House and as he was walking down one of the halls he comes upon Al Gore. Clinton could not hold back his joy and shared his surprise with the Vice President. 

"Look what I got for Hillary!" exclaims Clinton, holding up the puppy.

Al Gore stares for a moment, then his eyes brighten up as he says, "Nice trade, sir!"