Best Jokes

Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play nine holes of golf. Both men are playing excellently but were often held up by two women in front of them, moving at a very slow pace.

Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about 3/4ths of the way, stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is.

Joe said, “Well, one of those women is my wife and the other is my mistress.”

Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women. He was determined to finish his round of golf. He was prepared to ask the ladies to hurry their game. He too stopped short and turned around.

Joe asked, "What's wrong?"

“It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired."

7/11 isn't giving out free slurpees this year!

Instead of offering free slurpees, they will be offering discounted gas at a price of $7.11 a gallon.

Teacher: Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Intelligent people talk about ideas. Regular people talk about current events and lower than average people talk about people."

Little Johnny: No matter what history would have us believe, I respect a teacher that tells it like it is. I had no idea Eleanor Roosevelt was a below average person.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Little Johnny: She was talking about people, right?