Best Jokes

10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.

9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off white.

8. Crying can be fun.

7. Fat clothes.

6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.

5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.

2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.

1. Other women!

My favorite spot at our local zoo is the House of Night, where nocturnal creatures crawl and fly about. One very bright day, I stepped into the exhibit and was plunged into total darkness. Almost immediately, a small hand grabbed mine.

"And who do you belong to?" I asked.

His answer came swiftly: "I'm yours till the lights come on!”

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.

Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which ten items would you like to buy?"

He may look like an idiot and he may talk like an idiot...

But don't let that fool you...

He really is an idiot.