While fixing his roof, a man fell off of the ladder. After meeting with his wife later, he told her that four ribs were broken.
"Four ribs broken?!" she gasps. "Which hospital did you go to?"
"I didn't have to go to the hospital." he replies. His wife stares in perplexity. "Four broken ribs and you didn't have to go to the hospital?"
"No, it was the fella I landed on who broke four ribs."
Did you hear about the turkey that wore a sweater made out of stuffing?
If felt so nice & warm, that she even wore it inside.
What do you call a scary hardware store?
Harbor Fright!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it happened 250 million years ago!