Best Jokes

Q: What did the spoiled rich girl say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?

A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slow. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

If fortune tellers know the future, how come it's so difficult to find a happy medium?

If you are dating someone who only visits and annoys you at night...

... then you must be dating a Mosquito.