Best Jokes

Everyone has photographic memory!

Difference is some do not have any film.

Part of my job as a 911 dispatcher is to interrogate callers who are in various states of panic so I can send the appropriate emergency equipment. One day a woman called to say that a family member had fallen and needed to go to a hospital.

After finding out where she lived and assuring her that the paramedics would arrive shortly, I asked her, "Do you know what caused the fall?"

"No," the woman nervously replied. "What?"

The phlebotomist entered the hospital room to draw blood. Noticing an apple on the patient's nightstand, she remarked, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

"That's true," the patient replied. "I haven't seen a doctor in three days."

A rodeo bull rider had four disastrous runs of less than 5 seconds during the preliminary rounds of the event.

Several experienced bull riders stopped by his locker to see how he was doing.

"Those were some rough rides, pardner!" said one of the pros.

He responded, "Well, this IS my first rodeo."