Best Jokes

What musical note do you hear when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor!

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Johnny raised his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife or girlfriend!"

A delinquent student returns a book to the library, bangs it on the counter and yells, “I read this entire novel! It is badly written with different handwritings, contains too many names of people and no story at all. Take your book and note that I would not pay any fine for late return!"

The Librarian looks up and responds, “Idiot, so you are the one who took the Attendance book?"

The kings sent out explorers in search of new lands and treasures. Upon conclusion of a grand find they’d dispatch messages via carrier pigeon to the castle palace promptly informing the king.

Caravans traveled north, south, east and west. One day these intrepid explorers came upon villages that all had something rare and exotic in common. Each village had a delicate and supple food called smoked ham. The kings men were delighted for they had never tasted such a delicacy.

This was such great news each caravan decided to send all of their carrier pigeons at once. They wanted to insure these messages of grandeur found their mark. The pouches carried by the royal pigeons were filled with bits and pieces of this remarkable substance.

Suddenly the skies became darkened around the castle as hordes of carrier pigeons flooded the palace with massive amount of messages all at once. This angered the king, it was the first time he’d ever been spammed.