Best Jokes

God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well.

He comes to see Adam and says to him, "Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command. She will be beautiful and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg."

Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, "What can I get for a rib?"

Two playgrounds are on either side of the road...

So, why did the children cross the road?

To get to the other slide.

Two skydivers, Harold and Lester, jumped out of the plane and were having a conversation on the way down.

Lester: "I was in a hurry this morning, and I can't remember if I asked you to pack my chute for me."
Harold: "I've been pretty forgetful myself. I'm lucky I remembered to pack mine."

Lester: "Wait a minute. You mean I forget to ask you to pack my chute for me?"
Harold: "No, silly. You didn't forget to ask me to pack your chute. I'm the one who actually forgot to pack your chute!"

Lester: "Phew! Thank goodness, for a minute there I thought I was losing my mind!"

What musical note do you hear when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor!