Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Divorce is the past tense of marriage.
I am five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room.
The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds."
While the nurse pondered this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."
Patient 1: "Why did you run away from the operation table?"
Patient 2: "The nurse was repeatedly saying 'don't get nervous', 'don't be afraid', 'be strong', 'this is a small operation only', things like that."
Patient 1: "So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?"
Patient 2: "She was talking to the surgeon!"
"Why did they arrest you?"
"They said I was shopping too early."
"Well, that's not a crime. How early were you shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
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