Best Jokes

80% of my couch fell on my foot today...

...ouch!

Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate...

And we’ve been married for more than 20 years.

My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.

He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.

Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”

A lumberjack once told me he's cut down 27,653 trees.

“How do you know exactly how many?” I inquired.

“Easy. I keep a log.”