Best Jokes

6 votes

The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time.

Her first student was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "The other librarian we had could write..."

6 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Tomaso" |
6 votes

I have to find a new gym... the one I have now isn't working out!

6 votes

posted by "MouthDiapers" |
$6.00 won 6 votes

Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I go down on the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before and what I will do tomorrow night.

Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works!

I already have three people following me... two police officers and a psychiatrist!

6 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$15.00 won 6 votes

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. Everything quickly turned to chaos when a woman carrying a child started walking towards the front.

Everybody was surprised, shocked, and the bride even fainted. The pastor asked the woman if she had anything to say.

The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."

6 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "mlr9" |