Best Jokes

When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He took her appendix out!"

(Dad) I just got an invitation to my thirty year High School class reunion. I don’t think I’m going to attend.

(Son) Dad isn’t it true that each year the graduating class is larger than the year before.

(Dad) Yes, that’s generally how it works. By the time you graduate son the graduation class should be double of what it was last year.

(Son) My point exactly, based on that I really think you should attend.

(Dad) What point?

(Son) I just did the math in my head and it just wouldn’t be fair to the other two graduates if you missed it.

A man said to his doctor, "Doc, please don't ever give me artificial respiration!"

"Why not?" the Doctor asked.

The man replied, "If you can't give me the real thing, FORGET IT!"