Best Jokes

What did the lazy pair of scissors say the to dotted line?

You are tear-able!

Mom: Hi.
Son: I'm in a meeting....BRB.

Mom: BRB means????
Son: Be Right back.

Mom: Okay, IAW.
Son: IAW?

Mom: I Am Waiting.
Son: That's not an abbreviation mom!

Mom: Why? Only you can make one? Who do you think you are? I can make one up too.

The company had an employee suggestion competition. The entire staff was asked to submit entries that would save money for the firm.

The winner was a man who suggested the company save paper by posting corporate memos on bulletin boards, instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He won a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock.

A memo announcing the winner went out to 200 people.

There are 10 birds sitting on a fence...

If you shoot one down, how many are left?

None, they all flew away!