Best Jokes

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

Sea-kelp!

A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he.

First, he asked a giraffe. The giraffe did not know. Next, the lion asked a bear. The bear had no answer. Then the lion asked a hippopotamus, and again got no answer.

Finally, the lion met a mouse. He asked the mouse, ”Tell me, why aren't you as big, as strong, and as beautiful as I am?”

The mouse looked up at the lion and said, ”Well, I've been sick.”

A girl walked into a bar and said to the barman, "Bud light please."

He said, "Are you 18?"

She said, "No."

He said, "I can't serve you then."

As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth bar i have been in today. What does a 22 year old have to do to get a beer around here?"

The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half and it snapped with a loud crack.

Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..."