Best Jokes

A farmer walks into a hardware store and asks for a chainsaw that can cut down 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The farmer is suitably impressed, and buys it.

The next day he brings it back, complaining that it would only cut down 1 tree and it took ALL DAY!

The salesman takes the chain saw, starts it up to see what’s wrong, and the farmer says, “What’s that noise?”

Teacher: Suppose you have $10 and you asked your brother for $5. How much would you have then?

Student: $10.

Teacher: Why?

Student: My brother won't give me any money.

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."

He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."

A boxer complains to his doctor about insomnia.

Doc: "Have you tried counting sheep?"

Boxer: "Yes, but whenever I get to 9, I stand up."