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Favorite this joke Daughter: Dad there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?
Daughter: Please hurry because I’m going to cry.
Daughter: Dad…
Daughter: Dad…
Dad: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
I've been having problems with annoying phone calls lately...
The most common one seems to be the nightly, "You said you'd be home from the bar 2 hours ago!" call.
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