Best Jokes

This sailor fell off the crows nest on a sailing ship and fell trough the first deck and the second deck of the ship.

The captain went up to the sailor and asked if he was all right.

"I am all right," said the sailor. "I have been through hardships before."

I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come.

"Men," our sergeant yelled, "you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!"

Revitalized, we picked up the pace.

"And," continued Sarge, "we should reach the starting point any minute now."

A thief was arrested for breaking into a Toys "R" Us store and stealing a board game...

He got Life.

A judge and four lawyers were stuck in an elevator. Two were defense attorneys and the other two were on the prosecutor’s team.

The light in the elevator went out but it’s well known that in the light well is a spare bulb. The question is now posed, how many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb.

Answer: It only took one but it took a half hour for the judge to listen to all the arguments before he decided who had to change it.