Best Jokes

A lumberjack once told me he's cut down 27,572 trees.

"How do you know exactly how many" I replied.

“Easy, I keep a log..."

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two - one to screw it most of the way and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

I asked my wife when her birthday was.

She said March 1st.

So I walked around the room and asked again.

My wife said that my granddaughter has me wrapped around her little finger.

I said, "That's not true. I said 'no' to her just yesterday."

"What did she ask you?"

"She asked me if there was anything I wouldn't give her."