Teacher: "You are the only one in the entire class who makes so many mistakes in the homework assignment."
Student: "That is not true, I am not the only one. My parents are involved in this as well!"
Waiter!" shouted the furious diner. "How dare you serve me this! There's a TWIG in my soup!"
"My apologies," said the waiter. "I'll inform the branch manager."
When I was young, a bully was trying to pick a fight with me.
He said, "My dad can whoop your dad!"
I replied, "So what, so can my mom!"
We were standing in line outside a busy restaurant. The hostess was checking to find out how many people were in each group. "Party of two," we requested, "and could we please have Michelle?"
"Michelle?" asked the hostess.
"Michelle is my daughter, and just once in my life I want her to wait on me!"